Chelleology

I love to watch the Olympics.  I hold Olympic watching parties at my house.  Growing up, I always dreamed of seeing the Olympics in person.  Unfortunately, when the summer games were in
Atlanta, I was a broke college student who couldn’t afford to go.  So, when I heard that Chicago was competing to host the 2016 Olympics, I was excited by the possibility that I might attend.  The games would only be four hours away.  But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that Chicago is about the worst place on the planet to hold the Olympics.

 

The crime is probably the biggest thing that will keep spectators away.  The fatal beating of a boy walking home from school doesn’t help convince me to venture into the city.  In 2008, Chicago outpaced the NYC and LA murder rates (Chicago Sun-Times October 23, 2008).  During the summer of 2008, there were more murders in Chicago that there were US soldier deaths in Iraq during the same period (CBS2 Chicago 9/5/08).  You have a one in 82 chance of becoming a victim of a violent crime in Chicago (www.neighborhoodscout.com/il/chicago/crime).  Do the math!  A million Olympic spectators… one out of every 82 victimized… that equals a lot of crime!

 

Since the beginning of Chicago’s history, corruption has plagued the city.  Mob connections, scandals and bribery are a common theme in the history of Chicago’s government.  It is no different today.  Corruption in the 1960 election of John F. Kennedy is just one example.  It was discovered that dead people were voting and votes were coming out of abandoned homes.  (Washington Post November 17, 2000)  Chicago’s Mayor since 1989, Richard M. Daley has been investigated for all kinds of scandals.  During the overnight hours of March 31, 2003, Daley demolished Meigs Field, a small airport on the east side.  He did this without the support of the city council or the FAA (Chicago Sun-Times April 1, 2003). In January 2004, the Chicago Sun-Times broke the Hired Truck Program scandal.  The program created by Mayor Daley, hired private trucks to do city work.  However, it was found that some of the participating companies were paid for doing little or no work, had mob connections or were linked to city employees.  The Mayor has also been accused of rigging city hiring to favor those with political connections or would make campaign contributions. 

 

It’s not just Mayor Daley that’s at issue here (although a lot of things could be tied to him), but the police force is just as corrupt.  In the 1989, Daley, who was the state’s attorney and running for Mayor pressured police to arrest David Dowaliby for the murder of his step-daughter.  Police also botched much of the evidence so the police only had circumstantial evidence (Center on Wrongful Convictions).  He was later exonerated.  The city of Chicago has one of the highest numbers of record police brutality complaints (New York Times November 14, 2007).  Police have taken bribes and forced confessions.  Ex-police officers were recently convicted of breaking and entering.  What does this have to do with hosting the Olympics?  A lot!  How many officers will take bribes to turn a blind eye to a crime being committed?  How many attendees will be harassed or worse by the police?

 

Have you ever driven through Chicago?  It is a total nightmare!  The weekends are not bad but God help you if it’s a week day!  It often takes an hour to go five city blocks!  Many people take the train into work and I assure you that the trains get pretty full!  Throw a few million additional people into the mix and you’ll find that the city cannot support the additional traffic.  Catching a cab during the week is next to impossible.  Only the wealthy can afford to drive downtown because of the price to park.

 

Probably the biggest issue in Chicago hosting the Olympics is money!  Isn’t that the downfall of every plan these days?  It all comes down to money!  The city has already announced that the 2010 budget has a $400 million deficit!  City offices are being shut down for several days because they can’t afford to keep them open and pay their employees.  The city has also laid off hundreds of city workers!  With the bad economy, with no improvements in sight, there’s no guarantee that enough people will attend to make it worth it.  It will literally cost more to host the Olympics than the revenue the city will receive in hosting (Chicago Tribune September 16, 2009)  The city already has some of the highest taxes in the country.  The Mayor doesn’t hesitate when he raises taxes.  Instead he tells city council members that they will lose out on benefits (http://welcometodaleyland.blogspot.com/2009/06/daley-propaganda-machine.html) for their ward if they don’t get on board.  When the city loses money on the Olympics, you can bet that Daley will be raising taxes. 

I am no longer employed starting Monday.  I have a lot of mixed emotions yet feel completely emotionally drained by what I have just experienced.  While I know that God has a plan for me, I can’t help but wonder if I screwed it all up somehow.

 

It started the day after Labor Day.  There were a lot of jobs on my plate and while I was feeling a little stressed and overwhelmed, I was handling the workload.  But after being snipped at by two sales guys for making two small mistakes, my confidence began to waiver and suddenly I began to feel like I couldn’t do anything right.  Fighting back the tears, I tried to concentrate and be more careful.  My boss pulled me aside and asked me what the source of my stress was and although I was honest and forthright, I was told that the sales people are sticklers about being perfect and not having any errors or mistakes. 
Reading between the lines, I was told that I needed to get it together and learn to deal with the sales team.

 

Since that day, I was on edge.  I tried to keep up and not make even the tiniest mistake and I continued to get sniped at.  For instance, I was almost done with a project and I just had to get the client to sign off.  I called the client first thing in the morning and was told by the receptionist that the guy was off for the day.  I communicated this to the sales guy who emailed me back and copied my boss about how I should have known that the guy had the day off.  How was I to do that?  If I had telepathy, don’t you think I’d be doing some other job than have you yell at me every five minutes?

 

Days progressively got worse.  I began to have anxiety attacks to the point I thought I would pass out.  My heart would race even if I was sitting still and not feeling any stress at all.  I would come home and cry because I was so terrified of going to work.  I dug out my anti-anxiety medication (something my doctor prescribed months ago but never took because I didn’t think I really needed them). 

 

Then the day came when one of my coworkers had to take a week off.  The work load only got worse and my medication wasn’t kicking in yet.  Finally, I reached my breaking point and announced to my boss that I was quitting and that I would stay on board until they found someone else.  I was trying to be mature and professional about the whole ordeal.  I emailed our HR person and explained that I needed to quit.

 

By Friday, I was regretting my decision.  In part, because the medication seemed to finally be kicking in and I began to realize that I am not a quitter.  I don’t quit because things get too hard or because I think that no one likes me.  I don’t quit without having a job waiting in the wings… the only exception being TV when my health was the factor in the decision. 

 

On Monday, I retracted my resignation.  It took a lot of guts to do it but I talked myself into doing it… to fight for that dream that I once held dear.  But it was too little, too late.  This afternoon, I was told that I would no longer be employed there effective Monday morning.  I don’t know how I am to work there two more days knowing that I am no longer welcome there.

 

I’m crushed.  I had ways dreamed of working with this company and although I know they have a reputation in this community for treating their employees poorly, I didn’t want to believe it.  I didn’t care if the benefits were lousy or that if you didn’t fit the mold life there would be difficult.  I wanted it to work but I failed. 

 

When am I going to be successful?  When am I going to start accepting myself for who I am and forgetting what others think of me?  I’m tired of being mediocre and being unhappy most of the time. 

Growing up, my parents insisted that I do well in school.  They didn’t care if I was the prettiest girl in school, the most popular or the most athletic.  They wanted me to be the smartest and the most likely to succeed.  I definitely disappointed in that area.  I wasn’t a bad student.  I did quite well actually.  I was a great writer and an excellent debater, but I was not the smartest and I was not the most likely to succeed.

 

I went to college because it was drilled into my head by the adults in my life that that is what I had to do to ensure I would be successful.  Everything I wanted to do (mostly write), required a college degree.  Of course, once I got that Bachelor’s degree, my father told me not to get my Masters degree because “I would educate myself out of a job”.  So, in May 1998, my education ended.

 

I tell you this only because what I grew up listening to was a great big crock!  Don’t get me wrong, I do not regret my four years in college.  If anything, I wish I had been on the five year plan that seemed so popular to some students around me.  I enjoyed learning about who I was, free from the reins of my parents.  I enjoyed hanging in limbo between being adult enough to handle my school work but still irresponsible enough to do stupid stuff… like binge drinking and going out at three in the morning in search of some magazine that showed Brad Pitt with his shirt off. 

 

However, college didn’t do the one thing that the adults in my life said it would… make me happy and successful and financially comfortable.  I have smidgeons of happiness in my life.  I have a supportive husband, I have a handful of close friends and I live in a community where just about everyone knows my name.  I would have had those things even without college. 

 

I’m certainly not successful.  Who walks away from a career in television news just because they suffered a life altering illness or because they had a bully for a boss?  I did.  Apparently, college didn’t teach me how to cope when life suddenly throws you a curve ball.  Perhaps that course was offered during my sophomore year while I was busy binge drinking and being self destructive.  A successful person doesn’t, at 26, work beside college students at a local restaurant because you left the one thing you went to college for and you still have to make the rent.  I now work for an ad agency that I’m suddenly discovering that I hate.  It’s not because I can’t handle the work.  It apparently is because I don’t fit some mold that others expect I should fit into.  I do not feel like I have any allies and it sucks.  No one knows me or even made an attempt to get to know me which is really sad.  Gosh! Get to know someone and then if you don’t like them, don’t associate with them.  It’s as simple as that.  Don’t discard them because they’re not beautiful or because they are a few years older than you and getting drunk on Friday night isn’t fun for them any more. 

 

As for being financially comfortable, it depends on who you are referring to.  My husband makes the money, I don’t.  I have no problems with that but when you think of how much my parents spent to educate me… that’s disappointing.  I live in a house that isn’t as nice as most of my friends.  The sump pump floods when it rains hard, I can’t run the hair dryer at the same time the dishwasher is going and I have to store kitchen appliances in the guest bedroom closet because my kitchen is tiny.  We don’t take a yearly vacation.  Instead, we have to space out our vacations in order to afford them which means I rarely see my family (which sometimes is a blessing but most of the time I do miss them). 

 

Looking back, I realize that college taught me how to funnel a beer, sneak into bars and live off of $3 a day so I could afford my alcohol.  But it didn’t teach me how to handle scary illnesses, work place bullies or how to function in a too small house far away from family.

 

So, I guess the bottom line is that if you have kids, let them grow into who they’re going to be.  Be honest with them.  College doesn’t guarantee success.  And kids… don’t feel pressured to go to college.  Join the military… see the world… work in a grocery store… be a stay home mom or dad.  All of these are valid options so long as they make you happy.  My only request is to do something so that you are a contributing member to society.  Do a job, pay your taxes and parent your kids.

Last weekend I was at the video store randomly picking out movies.  I had actually given up hope that there were any good movies in the new release section.  My friends have heard me over and over again say that movies aren’t what they used to be and that new movies were just remakes of classics and no one in
Hollywood had an original thought or idea.  So, with little expectation I grabbed a couple of movies – only skimming the back of the box.  I grabbed a movie with Kirk Cameron in it knowing that it was likely a Christian movie but I wanted to see how Kirk looked these days.  The movie was “Fireproof”.

 

I watched it knowing that the actors were relatively new and had no acting experience.  I was pleasantly surprised.  I felt inspired – something that doesn’t happen very often.  I told my husband about it the next day and he said he wanted to see it because he heard great things about it.  We watched it and after a couple of days, I noticed that we were treating each other better.  We were never downright mean to each other but we certainly took each other for granted.  This movie changed that.

 

I began to think about my own Christianity.  The truth is that these days, I’m not a very good Christian.  I swear like a sailor, I have a lot of anger in my heart and I just don’t spend enough time with Him.  My Christian morals and values are still strong but I don’t do anything beyond what makes me happy at any given moment.

 

The truth is that in high school and in college, I was full of hope for the future and I felt God’s presence in my life constantly.  I made plans for the future fully expecting that He would be standing next to me and cheering me on the whole time.  But within a year of my college graduation, I couldn’t feel him any more.  I can’t pinpoint the exact moment or even an event when I noticed it.  I honestly think that life has made me cynical.  I was diagnosed with depression when I was 20 and have battled it ever since so that didn’t help matters.  I realized that I could no longer feel his presence when I was at the bookstore last night.  I picked up the book “Rachel’s Tears” and began to read.  Rachel was the first girl killed at Columbine and her parents wrote a book about her undying faith in God.  It was because of her faith that she died.  This inspired me.  In a world so full of hate and so full of evil, I realized that one day I could be looking down the barrel of a gun declaring my faith.  Would I have done the same?  Would I want to live so badly that I would deny God?  Or do I have the strength to stand my ground?

 

Similar topics have come up in my life but in a political sense.  I once told someone that if our politicians brought back the Fairness Doctrine, I would risk years in jail breaking the law.  When it came to Nationalized Health Care, I told my husband that I would die of malnutrition as a result of my Crohn’s Disease before getting on government health care.  The government could fine me all day long.  Without a doubt, I will risk the negative consequences of my politics but would I do the same for God?

It has been quite an exciting couple of weeks.  I came back from Mayo with some news I didn’t want to hear, I started my new job, met some fun people and was interviewed by the local paper.

 

I came back from Mayo on July 2^nd.  My Crohn’s disease is back and of course I was classified with gluten intolerance.  So, here I am back on strong drugs and a strict diet.  I did my share of crying and dealing with angst over what I was going to tell my friends about going out for beer night.  I absolutely refuse to talk about it with anyone other than Scott because I would rather just deal with it in my own personal way then having to sit there and field questions from my friends and then feel like they are making sacrifices hanging out with me.  Right now I feel okay.  I think the only thing that kills me is not being able to just pop in at a fast food place and order something.  I have to plan all my meals and that is so not me.

 

I started my new job.  Overall, I’m excited.  This is a whole different ballgame for me.  I went from a job I hated where I had too much on my plate and no one cared.  To a place where I have a busy day but I’m not overwhelmed and that there is someone there who can help me when I need help.  I’m doing really well at my job and I really think this job suits me.  I like the people I work with and I think they like me. 

 

Yesterday, I was interviewed by the local paper about the Sotomayor confirmation hearings.  As a conservative, you really have to be on guard when being interviewed by a liberal newspaper like our local paper.  But I muddled through it, carefully thinking about each of my answers before expressing them.  I worried all day that they would take my words out of context.  The story came out this afternoon and it’s not the quote I wanted and felt he purposely took the weakest quote he could but it was still pretty decent.  The guy at work that trained me read the story and kind of snickered.  Later on, he introduced me to a guy who also worked in our office and who made the opposing comment to the same reporter.  What were the chances that the reporter would pick two people with opposite points of view that worked for the same company?  I don’t think it will be a negative thing.  I get the impression most people in the company are pretty middle of the road and maybe even lean to the right so I’m not really outnumbered. 

Tomorrow is the big day.  I’m not nervous most of the tests they are running I’ve had before.  I just hate packing!  I’m always afraid of forgetting something important that I can’t pick up on the road.  Then I always over pack because I never know what I’m going to need.

I am looking forward to being on my own for a couple days (except the one day Scott will be with me).  There are some shops I can go to although I’m sure I’ll spend most of my time at Barnes and Nobles… maybe even at the hotel pool.  I’m also bringing some DVDs to watch on my laptop and plenty of books.

If there’s one thing I hope to accomplish with this trip is to find out why I’m so tired all the time. We already know that I’m very anemic and we are hoping to find out why.  I fear that they’ll say that I am for sure a celiac.  But if I am, maybe I can finally start feeling normal again.  That’s really all I want.  It’s hard enough to feel normal with Crohn’s Disease (Could someone find my dignity, please?).  Then of course, Celiac Disease makes it even more abundantly clear that I’m not normal.  I just want to be able to do things without feeling exhausted afterwards. 

I’m hoping to get on the road around 4.  I’m working the booth at the festival until noon.  So, I’ll have enough time to get some food for my trip and get home to rest for a bit before loading up the car for the trip up.  I’ll get there in time to check in and get a late dinner.

Wish me luck!

I haven’t written a quite a while.  I could give you the same tired excuse that work got in the way and that by the time I get home I’m so spent that I can barely put two sentences together.  The truth is that I had reached my breaking point with my job and by the grace of God I found a new job.

 

June 8^th started out as any typical Monday.  I went to work trying to ignore how trapped I felt in my job.  I figured if I went to work not feeling anything that I would be able to muddle through the day.  Now it wasn’t any one particular event that made me feel like I was going to scream but it was just the feeling of being overwhelmed that hit me.  I felt panicked.  Come 3:30, I was ready to get to my therapy appointment.  The second I got across town and my therapist shut the door, I melted down.  It was a wonder that they didn’t commit me on the spot.  Once I had calmed down, we talked about getting out of my job, even if it meant waiting tables until something opened up.  I cringed at the idea of going through that again.  I had tried that when I got out of TV and I hated it.

 

I went home, took a nap and got myself together and began the process of looking for a new job.  I looked in the usual places like newspapers and yahoo jobs.  I wasn’t finding much but I fired off a few resumes.  Then I remembered it was time to check the advertising agencies for jobs.  I didn’t have much hope that I would find anything because it seemed that they were never hiring.  But there it was, an entry level position was staring back at me.  I jazzed up my cover letter and cleaned up my resume and fired it off to the HR department.

 

It was the very next morning that I got the phone call for the interview.  I was a bundle of emotion.  It had been about seven years since I had an interview so I spent a lot of time picking out the right interview clothes and pouring over books on the perfect interview.

 

I went to the interview that Thursday and I was calm, cool and collected.  It started out with a few basic interview questions and before you know it, it started to feel like a conversation.  I was asking questions and the interviewers were explaining what the position entails.  Then we were talking about some of the people I knew that used to work for the agency.  You know, I was schmoozing.  They ended the interview by telling me that they would let me know next week.

 

From Monday through Wednesday, I went from confident that I got it to not so confident to downright depressed.  Then, right after lunch on Wednesday, the offer came through.  I was told to call on Friday and let them know my response.  It was no surprise I wanted it and I immediately turned in my resignation.  On Friday, I accepted the position and they were just as excited to have me as I was to take the job.

 

The next week and a half, I was full of anxiety.  It was primarily because I had so much to tie up and I didn’t want to overload my team with my duties than they already were.  I did it though.  There were times where I ran myself down and there were times where I was on the brink of tears but I got through it all.

 

Today was my final send off.  The department threw a little lunchtime picnic and gave me a nice sized gift certificate to Kohl’s, a funny card they all signed and a frog figurine.  They had a beautiful cake that said “Good Luck Chelle” (it was very yummy – chocolate with cream cheese frosting – my favorite).  We had some good chuckles about some of the crazy things I’ve said and done and how they enjoyed my quirky sense of humor and my sarcasm.  There were a couple of employees that had tears in their eyes when they hugged me goodbye this afternoon.  I was really touched that they thought so highly of me.

 

I worry about how they will manage my workload until they find my replacement.  But I know they can do it.  It will be tough but I know they can do it.  I will miss them terribly.

 

Scott has been away on a fishing trip for the past week which has allowed me time for some quiet reflection and some time to focus on me.  That is in no way a reflection on my husband although that’s always the joke within the family.  “Hooray!  Scott is gone!”  I have never needed lots of friends, only the peace and quiet that my soul craves.  I am a person who needs lots of time alone.  Scott respects my alone time and I am grateful to have his support and understanding.  However, having the entire house to myself and being on my own schedule (eat when I want, watch TV when and where I want, etc). 

 

On Friday, I was told that a guy who was politically involved and who had served in
Iraq was dead.  It is still a mystery to me exactly what had happened and it certainly caused some unexplained feelings to rise up in my heart.  You see, he died over Memorial Day weekend.  Since I had just seen him that Friday and he appeared to be healthy, I couldn’t imagine a 20-something year old guy would just drop dead.  It couldn’t be a vehicle or drowning accident because we would have known about it within 24 hours of it happening thanks to the media.  So, that only left us to speculate exactly what happened.  I think we can all agree that he killed himself.  He was a guy that went to events and we would sit and talk for a while.  He was someone who was a little more than an acquaintance but less than an actual best friend.  So, I don’t claim to be hurting any where near as much as his family is.  What hurts more than that I feel angry that he did something that at one point in my life I had thought about doing myself.  Whenever a friend or even an acquaintance takes their life, it conjures up a lot of those feelings.  Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t ever take my life.  I could never inflict that kind of pain on my family and leave them wondering if it was something they did or said that made me do it.  I just can’t grasp how anyone could do it.  I was an open and shut case.  It was ugly in the beginning when everything came to a head, I got help, I got medication and moved on.  It’s sad that he couldn’t do the same.  I want to be angry though because he took the wimpy way out.  I have that right, don’t I?  To be angry?

 

On Saturday, I was able to get down to Iowa City for some good old ‘hanging out’ with myself.  It’s something I love to do but never get much of a chance to do it any more.  I’m not quite sure I’ll go down there again.  I always knew that Iowa City leaned a little of the liberal side.  I mean, the University of Iowa is located there so of course it’s going to be liberal.  But I quickly found out that it wasn’t just liberal but it wandered off the reservation and apparently I was not alerted before I jumped in my car and made the road trip.  I wanted to go to the Haunted Book Shop which is a place I had never been.  All the way down I thought about how a bookstore could still be haunted after recently moving locations.  Anyway, as I do in every bookstore I enter, I head for the Current Affairs section.  To my shock and dismay, I found zip, zero, nada books that were conservative.  Not even one in the realm of Ron Paul, libertarian!  All of them, yes, all of them were Michael Moore and Keith Olberman and a few others of their ilk.  I eventually just wandered around to see if anything unique caught my eye like an Irish language book or a good paranormal book when I book in the “Women’s Studies” area caught my eye.  It was entitled “Women on the Right.”  I thought maybe I had found a diamond in the rough.  Nope!  It was pretty much about if you believe abortion is wrong then you are setting back the women’s movement 100 years. 

 

I moved on.  I went to my very favorite bookstore in Iowa City – Prairie Lights Bookstore.  Only I found the same dilemma.  There was one book by Ann Coulter on the shelves.  I wondered why out of all the great conservative books coming out in the market, did they choose an Ann Coulter book.  After having some coffee on their second floor, I came to the conclusion that they wanted to paint all of us as Ann Coulter types that appear angry and in your face.  Nothing against Ann.  She’s one of my favorites even though she can be quite abrasive.  She’s not for everyone.  I chuckled though.  I’m aware of just about every liberal book out there but Prairie Lights had some I had never heard of before.  I left shaking my head.

 

I did find a great shop that made my trip worth it.  It was a shop called Revival.  It was a consignment shop that sold some really awesome clothing for a great price.  I came out with a skirt, a shirt and a little sweater for like $22.  I also stopped by Ebeys to pick up some new fiddle music – the shop owner was great and let me inside even though they had closed already.  I then made my way to Coral Ridge Mall to shop the stores that we don’t have at home. 

 

Much of my other time with Scott away was working on my violin and fiddle music and spending time at Greg and Jolene’s house.  While I’ve had a lot of me time and had time to slow down and think, I’m ready for Scott to come home.  Going to bookstores without him is just not the same and not being able to share any good (or as the case was – bad) with him.  I’m now starting to realize that this house feels big and I’m starting to feel a little – dare I say it – lonely.

When I first heard of Leon Mosley, I thought he was loud and very brash.  I certainly didn’t know anything about him.  I had just moved to
Iowa in 2001 and didn’t know much about local politics.  Leon was in the news a lot around 2002 and not much of it was very nice.  I should have known.  Although he was a Republican, a lot of the opinion I had formed of the guy was based on what was said about him in the media.  I thought “Yeah, he’s a Republican but does he have to be so loud about it?” 

 

It wasn’t until the summer of 2006 when I first met Leon in the flesh.  I found myself feeling very small and intimidated by him.  He was confident and he had this booming voice.  I was afraid to talk to him for fear that my voice would quiver.  It certainly wasn’t long before I realized he was a great big teddy bear who was just passionate about his religion and his community. 

 

During the fall of 2006, Leon was not re-elected to the Board of County Supervisors.  It was a devastating blow to the Republican Party.  But that didn’t stop him.  He remained an active in local politics.  He was still the co-chair of the State Party.  Additionally, he continued working within his community to keep people safe and keep the gang bangers from creating chaos in the streets.

 

I will never forget his stories about the 2007 Straw Poll.  It was a super hot day.  I was out of my car for 10 minutes and I was already in a full sweat.  I spotted Leon at the Fair Tax speech.  I couldn’t miss him.  He was wearing his cowboy hat!  He was very busy but I did get to talk to him during various times of the day.  About a week later at the Central Committee meeting he told us about a guy who asked him who he was and what he was doing at the Straw Poll.  He said “I’m Leon Mosley and I’m the co-chair of the Republican Party of Iowa.”  The guy, shocked, said “But you can’t.  You’re black.”  In typical Leon fashion, Leon screamed “Oh, my gosh!  I’m black?” 

 

You see, this is the way Leon is.  Things could be crappy and the media could be cruel but Leon kept his sense of humor and never waivered on his devotion to God.  And for that, I will always hold Leon in the highest regard.  That is why we celebrated Leon’s service tonight.  We celebrated his dedication to his community and his dedication to the Republican Party.  He worked day and night to clean up the streets of Waterloo, he drove all over the state to spread the Republican message and still remained a faithful husband, a loving father and grandfather. 

 

Leon will not be going away any time soon.  While he is glad that he no longer has to pull long days or travel across the state, he still plans on working on getting the Republican message out and still plans to help others campaign.  The state of Iowa is very lucky to have him and we have all been touched by his kindness.  We are all a little better off because of Leon.

 

We love you Leon!

 

 

Despite what you may believe, I am certainly not opposed to listening to differing point of views.  So, when I saw the signs on the local college campus advertising a lecture by Feminists for life, I was intrigued.  Don’t get me wrong.  I am pro-life.  What made me uncomfortable was the term ‘feminists’. 

 

There’s no doubt that if I were alive in the 50s and 60s, I would have been a complete feminist.  Back then it was about burning bras in the name of women’s liberation.  It was about getting out of the kitchen and entering the work force.  It was about women being more than just baby makers and caretakers of their husbands.  But now feminism has evolved into making men the enemy or discarding them altogether. 

 

You could argue that feminism is about equal pay for equal work but I don’t necessarily buy that argument either.  If you could find two people who are identical in everyway (same personality, same work ethic, same temperament, same degrees from the same school, same age, etc) but one has a penis and one does not, then I might be able to buy that women are getting the short end of the stick.  The problem is that unfair pay between the sexes is difficult to prove.  Then you have to account for the mothering factor.  After a woman comes back from maternity leave she’s already 6 to 12 weeks behind those without children.  Then there are absences.  Most of the time, it’s the woman who takes the day off to care for a sick child.  Granted, it may not be fair that these factors hamper a woman’s chances of moving up the ladder or getting paid as much as her counter part but let’s look at it another way.  I am childless by choice (granted if I found myself in the family way, I would have the child).  Is it fair that another woman get paid as much as I do if she has missed 6 weeks plus several days here and there during the year and I have impeccable attendance with few absences?  It’s the same thing for men.  It is not only unfair to pay a woman as much as a man when he’s at work all the time and she misses work due to motherly responsibilities, nor is it fair to punish those that don’t have children.  It’s also unfair for employers to be stuck in a situation where they have to tip the scales to assist the woman for fear of a lawsuit.  Frankly, I have always been of the opinion that if you don’t like how much you’re getting paid or you don’t like your benefits, you need to find another job. 

 

This is what I thought about on my drive to the lecture.  I feared I would get a lecture about how life is unfair for women and that men are the source of their frustration. But because it was a pro-life lecture, I tried to put aside my preconceived notions about what feminism is and listened with an open mind.

 

Karen Shablin was a card-carrying member of NARAL and a policy expert and acting director of NJ’s Medicaid agency and also a woman who had an abortion in her 20s.  She made the argument that Roe v. Wade didn’t empower women but instead hurt women.  Women in their 20s are the most likely the have an abortion and women in college are even more likely to have an abortion than someone who is not in college.  Why is that?  Mrs. Shablin offered up an explanation.  Colleges are not exactly pregnancy friendly.  Look at the desks.  They do not allow for an ever increasing stomach.  Many colleges do not have changing tables or day care.  When you look at student insurance, you’ll find that their policies cover for abortions but do not cover prenatal care.  What does this tell our college women?  It tells them that you cannot have a college career and a baby.  They find that their only choice is to abort or drop out.  FFL says that we need to start talking about options and show our women that there is another choice and that it is possible to go to college and have a baby.  It won’t be easy and sacrifices have to be made but it is possible. 

 

I know what you’re asking and I asked myself the same question.  As a fiscal conservative, I worried about my tax dollars paying to make our colleges more pregnancy and baby friendly.  How do we pay for this?  It didn’t take long before my creative problem solving skills kicked in.  Let’s start with day care.  There are students on campus majoring in child psychology and education.  Why not have them work at the day care on campus for college credit?  The desks are easy.  Desks are already funded at our public institutions.  Let’s make some of those desks a little larger.  Donations by pro-life organizations can help pay to install changing tables in bathrooms on campus.  When we start working on making these accommodations to our women, the stigma that goes along with being a pregnant college student begins to fade away. 

 

I slowly started to come to grips with the feminism term and maybe a small part of me wanted to identify with that term.  But what’s more important is that I became even more prolife as I found more and more reasons to stand my ground on my stance.

 

First off, Roe v. Wade, completely discards men.  Roe v. Wade made it possible for women to make a choice whether to keep their babies or abort them.  They did not need the man’s input.  I understand that the woman is the one that has to carry the baby for nine months but that child is also a part of the man and he should have a choice too.  In my discussions with women who disagree with me, many of them clam up when I ask them whether or not the man needs to help pay for the abortion.  Since the woman doesn’t need a man’s input to abort the child, obviously she doesn’t need money or assistance from the man to get the abortion.  When you make the choice entirely the woman’s decision, you are sending the message to our young men that they don’t matter and they are going to have the attitude that it’s all up to the woman to deal with it. 

 

Second, Roe v. Wade made it okay to abort a child so that it doesn’t get in the way of their life style or their opportunity to succeed.  What has happened to our society where our life style or our desires to succeed take precedence over another life?  Arguably you can say that there are just too many kids that are in foster care.  I find that a little strange that we can send millions of dollars to
Africa to assist women in getting abortions and the likes of Madonna and Angelina Jolie go to other countries to adopt children.  Frankly, I would rather we pay for children in foster care and make adoption easier than to subsidize abortions.  You could claim that children in foster care suck up our tax dollars but so does illegal immigration.  Get tough on illegal immigration and let’s take care of our children.  It isn’t the child’s fault so let’s get our priorities straight.

 

Third, we have now allowed women to decide to abort for what has to be the most offensive reason.  Their bodies!  On more than one occasion, I have found myself arguing with a pro-choice woman who states that women should not be forced to carry the baby for nine months and put their bodies through ‘all that’.  What has our society become when we place more value on how we look or feel over a life?  Pregnancy is a beautiful thing and treating it as a horrible disease is a disservice to women and our society as a whole.