Starting Over
I haven’t written a quite a while. I could give you the same tired excuse that work got in the way and that by the time I get home I’m so spent that I can barely put two sentences together. The truth is that I had reached my breaking point with my job and by the grace of God I found a new job.
June 8th started out as any typical Monday. I went to work trying to ignore how trapped I felt in my job. I figured if I went to work not feeling anything that I would be able to muddle through the day. Now it wasn’t any one particular event that made me feel like I was going to scream but it was just the feeling of being overwhelmed that hit me. I felt panicked. Come 3:30, I was ready to get to my therapy appointment. The second I got across town and my therapist shut the door, I melted down. It was a wonder that they didn’t commit me on the spot. Once I had calmed down, we talked about getting out of my job, even if it meant waiting tables until something opened up. I cringed at the idea of going through that again. I had tried that when I got out of TV and I hated it.
I went home, took a nap and got myself together and began the process of looking for a new job. I looked in the usual places like newspapers and yahoo jobs. I wasn’t finding much but I fired off a few resumes. Then I remembered it was time to check the advertising agencies for jobs. I didn’t have much hope that I would find anything because it seemed that they were never hiring. But there it was, an entry level position was staring back at me. I jazzed up my cover letter and cleaned up my resume and fired it off to the HR department.
It was the very next morning that I got the phone call for the interview. I was a bundle of emotion. It had been about seven years since I had an interview so I spent a lot of time picking out the right interview clothes and pouring over books on the perfect interview.
I went to the interview that Thursday and I was calm, cool and collected. It started out with a few basic interview questions and before you know it, it started to feel like a conversation. I was asking questions and the interviewers were explaining what the position entails. Then we were talking about some of the people I knew that used to work for the agency. You know, I was schmoozing. They ended the interview by telling me that they would let me know next week.
From Monday through Wednesday, I went from confident that I got it to not so confident to downright depressed. Then, right after lunch on Wednesday, the offer came through. I was told to call on Friday and let them know my response. It was no surprise I wanted it and I immediately turned in my resignation. On Friday, I accepted the position and they were just as excited to have me as I was to take the job.
The next week and a half, I was full of anxiety. It was primarily because I had so much to tie up and I didn’t want to overload my team with my duties than they already were. I did it though. There were times where I ran myself down and there were times where I was on the brink of tears but I got through it all.
Today was my final send off. The department threw a little lunchtime picnic and gave me a nice sized gift certificate to Kohl’s, a funny card they all signed and a frog figurine. They had a beautiful cake that said “Good Luck Chelle” (it was very yummy – chocolate with cream cheese frosting – my favorite). We had some good chuckles about some of the crazy things I’ve said and done and how they enjoyed my quirky sense of humor and my sarcasm. There were a couple of employees that had tears in their eyes when they hugged me goodbye this afternoon. I was really touched that they thought so highly of me.
I worry about how they will manage my workload until they find my replacement. But I know they can do it. It will be tough but I know they can do it. I will miss them terribly.
